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Actually yes this helped make sense of why I feel kind of constrained. All of my “options“ feel like something that requires suffering of some kind (for me or for someone else). I don’t necessarily feel anxious but i guess Im still working out the kinks. What you wrote makes me think that the biggest thing is learning what things are actually my inner self, and what isn’t. If i knew and trusted the right voice I’d be willing to follow it wherever it takes me. I’ll do all the practices you said here. some I already had been but others I didn’t really see the point. 

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